Sunday, December 17, 2006

Happy Holidays

This entry is going to be fairly boring (of course, this is based on the assumption that previous postings are fascinating). My previous posting generated a fair amount of reaction from people here and there. It’s cool since it clearly evoked feelings from readers, something I did not plan to do. And I like that piece a lot.

Anyways, but to address a variety of emails, yes, I am OK. And yes, I was fucked, or fucked over, however you want to look at it. Maybe I put my guard down, maybe I really fell head over heels, maybe it just looks that way because it ended, who knows. I can’t tell you whether I’ve moved on, it felt that way a few days ago, it did not feel that way today.

To make everything even worse, the “not being able to move on” is augmenting the sickening aspect of the current situation. I am literally trapped and I am trapped in something that to any outsider, or any normal person, looks good and wonderful. I am pretty sure I am in a companionship for the sake of companionship.

If you don’t believe me, look at it this way - I wrote “companionship.”

So I am waiting for that moment where I become intolerable and the companionship will end. It is sickening. Or masochistic, however you want to look at it.

On that note, no, I am not depressed. No worries, I don't sit around the house, staring at a wall.