Robert Zimmerman

Any guesses on how many people are listening to Bob Dylan today? I am one. Then again, I’ve been listening to Another Side of Bob Dylan for the past week. It’s comforting at 8:30am when the G is not running and I am way late.

Bob’s a funny man. I must admit, I didn’t want the whole 2 hours, around 10:30 I got really sleepy and needed to go to bed asap. But nevertheless I was highly amused at his attempts to say something deep and profound yet after a pause of thought, he would just say “…or something.” Except that one time, when he was describing his first two girlfriends and he said something along the lines of: “They brought out the poet in me” which was followed by him looking straight into the camera with a playful smirk on his face. It was almost startling and hilarious after watching him for an hour with a dead-pan stare to the side while he spoke.

Boring McBoring

I am afraid that I am becoming really boring. And I don’t mean it in the context of this blog (which, I am sure, is quite boring), I am talking about me being boring in general. I realized the other day that my pop culture knowledge has dwindled to two recent facts – that Renee just got a divorce and Britney gave birth. The thing is, no one really cares so it’s not like I can sit around, shoot shit (is that even a saying) about recent pop culture events. When my friends start talking about some band, everyone chimes in with some opinion. I nod and smile politely, pretending like I know what they are talking about. And it hasn’t been always like that, I remember distinctly being able to chime in myself.

I can’t talk about politics because I’ve lost track of what is going on. And I stopped reading the Times about five months ago. Mostly because it’s a repetition of the same news and there is no progress. Well, I check the front page of nytimes.com but that’s not really being on top of the current political events. Although yesterday I heard about North Korea’s disarmament agreement. Very exciting. Wonder how long that will hold up in this administration.

I can’t even talk about the weather any more because Sam Champion keeps blabbering about some tropical storm off of Cuba. Who cares, I live in New York, gimme New York weather!

The only two things that I can really talk about are merits of buprenorphine program over a methadone program. And how sex workers are always looked at in the context of public health, as if once they step off the streets, they magically become like anyone else. The thing is that I don’t have any friends who are looking for a drug treatment program and whenever I talk about sex workers, everyone starts the “sex worker or prostitute” debate. Or ask me for their numbers. Now, I can imagine that who ever is reading this is already dozing off or hitting the next blog button.

There is this person that I know. Secretly, this person has been voted the most boring person in the world. When I am with this person, I get bored. And I wonder, is this what it is like to hang around me? It’s really kind of depressing. Hmm, I should go out and buy the latest Spin to read up on Chuck Closterman’s skewed and not so interesting or even funny pop culture observations. And then buy a latest edition of People’s magazine.

Then again, maybe I got it all completely wrong and in reality, I am just bored with everything. I noticed the other day, there was a conversation going on and I was listening to it but it was kind of boring so I had nothing to say. There was an awkward pause, followed by a silent moment which felt like a signal for my turn to speak. So instead, I turned around and walked away.

oh man

it's friday night at 11:30pm and i am sitting at home, writing my report on sex workers. i am such a loser.

Call me Carrie

So I am really confused about “dating” etiquette in New York. Well, not even ‘dating” as much but I’ve noticed that there is discourse on when sex should occur.

You have your school of thought that states that a girl should never sleep with a guy on their first “date” or meeting in a bar. Apparently this gives the couple a chance to get to know each other and also it makes the girl look less slutty. For example, I know someone who said that he sleeps only with girls once they have become friends. But apparently, oral sex is not part of the sleeping deal, it can occur whenever. Then someone else said that he sleeps only with his girlfriends. What defines a girlfriend, I have no clue. I am not sure if oral sex is ever involved in this situation.

Then there are others who think that if mutual sexual attraction is there, doing it right away is just fine. This, although fine with me, sounds way too optimistic because it seems to me that people who sleep together right away generally don’t end up seeing each other again. Then again, I am not sure if this is due to the fact that either party is so horny (or read drunk) that he/she fails to notice the night before that the person next to him/her the following morning is physically repulsive or, even worst, turns out to be a Republican.

Then again, I remember talking to a Swedish girl who told me that in Sweden, it’s quite normal to sleep with someone the same night you meet. And apparently this often results in people seeing each other again. Somehow of my own experience of “dating” outside of United States brings me to the same recollection – there were never wishy washy lame excuses.

So the question really is – is this city full of freaks who are just too afraid to show their sexuality? And in order to preserve their own integrity or embarrassment, do they wait a certain amount of time to sleep with the other person? Am I not aware of these norms/rules that people follow? Or is there an intricate hierarchy of horny winners and losers (people who can separate sex from affection/love, people who associate sex with affection/love etc) who have repeated one night stands?

Ok, this post merits a lot of eyerolls. Clearly, it’s a manifestation of my own insecurity (Oh, crap, am I too slutty? Was this too soon? Will he call again or was that a one night stand? Am I a horny loser?). But I just don’t understand why sex has become such a big deal.

Actually, my own admission of my insecurities is a lot less embarrassing now that I realize that this post is an emulation of some lame Sex and the City episode.

if you're offended by shit or maggots, don't read this

I am beginning to realize that since my return back to the city, this blog will become extremely boring. There is not much write about. And I am not sure if I want it to become one of those stupid philosophical crap blogs that everyone tends to have. Then again, there are people who care for that.

Anyways, for something completely different, I will carry on with a continuation of my previous theme – shit. So my stomach is still feeling funky and in order to figure out whether I have maggots living in my stomach, I decided to go to a doctor. The lady ordered me to collect samples of my shit before any diagnosis. And I am not allowed to eat dairy for about five days. So, following the doctor’s orders, I proceeded to head to the laboratory where a nice lab technician with a Caribbean accent told me to: “take da poop and put it on da plate. Then take da spoon and scoop da poop.” I left the student health center with seven (!) shit vials in a brown bag. As I crossed Broadway with my shit bag, I started thinking about scooping da poop with da spoon and I could not stop laughing. I must have looked like a total moron, waiving a brown bag of vials for shit, laughing hysterically.

That evening, after harassing my friend about the content of the Korean dinner which he made for everyone, I made sure there was no dairy in my food and explained my shitty situation to everyone around me. Then for dessert, I asked for extra ice cream. Of course, only after I finished my two scoopfuls of ice cream did I realize that ice cream has dairy as well. So there went my ‘no dairy’ diet.

Fortunately since my stomach is going topsy turvey (hmm, is that spelled correctly?), I have had no problems filling seven vials. So I have a brown bag full of shit sitting in the bathroom, waiting for its trip on the subway, back to the upper west side.

Ugh, it’s the first day of school. The round trip subway ride to school will be as lengthy as my only class today. I wish I could stay home and not put up with awkward intros: “Let’s have everyone go in a circle and tell us your name, what you are studying and what you did this summer. Yey, social work!” Actually, I take that back. I don’t want to stay home. I would rather spend another week in Montauk. Sleeping in until 10 (I don’t know what’s going on, I’ve been waking up before noon lately), rolling onto a beach, rolling off the beach to an ice cold beer and a lobster roll. Hmm, I don’t know what else a human being really needs. Well, maybe a surfing lesson because laying on a beach gets a little boring after a while.

So what did I say? 

Oh Katrina

What annoys me the most about the Katrina devastation is that media is comparing the disaster area and its inhabitants who were unable to leave in time to a third world country. I think it's a shame. Mainly because when one refers to a third world country, most don't think of white people. And the people shown in New Orleans, for example, who are now stuck and trying to leave are mostly not white either. I can see how easy it is to make the comparison to a third world country but it also shows how racist media is.

I am also not sure why all these people are referred to refugees. Yes, they are seeking a refuge but generally, when people are called refugees, it's because they are fleeing from a war, political oppression, or religious persecution. Call me crazy but there must be another word to describe people seeking a shelter.

And, of course, the last point - so why is Bush appointing Bush Sr. and Clinton to head the recovery effort? Can't he appoint them to run the country instead?