Call me Carrie

So I am really confused about “dating” etiquette in New York. Well, not even ‘dating” as much but I’ve noticed that there is discourse on when sex should occur.

You have your school of thought that states that a girl should never sleep with a guy on their first “date” or meeting in a bar. Apparently this gives the couple a chance to get to know each other and also it makes the girl look less slutty. For example, I know someone who said that he sleeps only with girls once they have become friends. But apparently, oral sex is not part of the sleeping deal, it can occur whenever. Then someone else said that he sleeps only with his girlfriends. What defines a girlfriend, I have no clue. I am not sure if oral sex is ever involved in this situation.

Then there are others who think that if mutual sexual attraction is there, doing it right away is just fine. This, although fine with me, sounds way too optimistic because it seems to me that people who sleep together right away generally don’t end up seeing each other again. Then again, I am not sure if this is due to the fact that either party is so horny (or read drunk) that he/she fails to notice the night before that the person next to him/her the following morning is physically repulsive or, even worst, turns out to be a Republican.

Then again, I remember talking to a Swedish girl who told me that in Sweden, it’s quite normal to sleep with someone the same night you meet. And apparently this often results in people seeing each other again. Somehow of my own experience of “dating” outside of United States brings me to the same recollection – there were never wishy washy lame excuses.

So the question really is – is this city full of freaks who are just too afraid to show their sexuality? And in order to preserve their own integrity or embarrassment, do they wait a certain amount of time to sleep with the other person? Am I not aware of these norms/rules that people follow? Or is there an intricate hierarchy of horny winners and losers (people who can separate sex from affection/love, people who associate sex with affection/love etc) who have repeated one night stands?

Ok, this post merits a lot of eyerolls. Clearly, it’s a manifestation of my own insecurity (Oh, crap, am I too slutty? Was this too soon? Will he call again or was that a one night stand? Am I a horny loser?). But I just don’t understand why sex has become such a big deal.

Actually, my own admission of my insecurities is a lot less embarrassing now that I realize that this post is an emulation of some lame Sex and the City episode.