I am beginning to realize that since my return back to the city, this blog will become extremely boring. There is not much write about. And I am not sure if I want it to become one of those stupid philosophical crap blogs that everyone tends to have. Then again, there are people who care for that.
Anyways, for something completely different, I will carry on with a continuation of my previous theme – shit. So my stomach is still feeling funky and in order to figure out whether I have maggots living in my stomach, I decided to go to a doctor. The lady ordered me to collect samples of my shit before any diagnosis. And I am not allowed to eat dairy for about five days. So, following the doctor’s orders, I proceeded to head to the laboratory where a nice lab technician with a Caribbean accent told me to: “take da poop and put it on da plate. Then take da spoon and scoop da poop.” I left the student health center with seven (!) shit vials in a brown bag. As I crossed Broadway with my shit bag, I started thinking about scooping da poop with da spoon and I could not stop laughing. I must have looked like a total moron, waiving a brown bag of vials for shit, laughing hysterically.
That evening, after harassing my friend about the content of the Korean dinner which he made for everyone, I made sure there was no dairy in my food and explained my shitty situation to everyone around me. Then for dessert, I asked for extra ice cream. Of course, only after I finished my two scoopfuls of ice cream did I realize that ice cream has dairy as well. So there went my ‘no dairy’ diet.
Fortunately since my stomach is going topsy turvey (hmm, is that spelled correctly?), I have had no problems filling seven vials. So I have a brown bag full of shit sitting in the bathroom, waiting for its trip on the subway, back to the upper west side.
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