Eurovision vs American Idol

So I am quite sure that most of the US population has never heard of Eurovision (in fact, most of the US population hasn’t heard of global warming so why would they hear of a bunch of singing Europeans?). This, I think, is a real pity since Eurovision is pretty much the same thing as American Idol except cheesier, tackier, and much more easier to make fun of!

Just like American Idol, Eurovision has scandals; albeit they are not at par with Paula Abdul’s “coaching” of contestants, but apparently, Lithuania’s contestant Laura (as you can see, she is really cool unlike the rest of us mortals with first and last names) proclaimed that Kiev, the capital of Ukraine where Eurovision took place this year, has more gays than people. The comment itself is fairly amusing, considering that in the past, there were several gays and even transsexuals in the singing contest (c’mon, a singing contest!), thus making me wonder if she thought that Eurovision is a stiff affair fit for afternoon tea and cucumber finger sandwiches.

Just like American Idol, Eurovision’s contestants get to sing the cheesiest songs a person could ever imagine. Only Eurovision’s are even cheesier! Cyprus’ Constantinos Christoforou enlightens everyone of his virility by encouraging everyone to: “Just cross the line/You have no time/My persistence is outrageous/You'll be mine cause I'm contagious.”

And just like American Idol, Eurovision’s contestants get to wear incredible outfits. Only their outfits are even tackier! Check out the blazers, not to mention hair, on Walter and Kazha (yea, I have no clue about their names either) from Latvia. Being from Latvia, fortunately, I have full rights to make fun of Latvians.

So Bo Bice, Nadia Turner, Constantine Maroulis, and Scott Savol, some of you may look funny, some of you may have funny names, and some of you beat your ex-girlfriend, but you got nothing when compared to the tacky and cheesy international brotherly & sisterly love called Eurovision.