Is Ronaldo too fat?

I am not going to write much about the FIFA games because I really don’t know much about football. Or soccer, if you, the reader, are an American. But since I am Latvian, by default, I will refer to it as football.

But the thing that I can write about is that football players make the best looking athletes. My argument is rooted in the fact that football players have the most proportional bodies. And considering that they have to run up and down the field for 90 plus minutes, I can only imagine rock-hard bodies under those shirts. A case in point:





Think about it, basketball players are long-armed, long-legged tall freaks. I am 5’5” on my tallest day; anyone above 6’1” is really, really tall to me. And apparently, an average basketball player in the NBA is 6’6” – that’s super duper tall to me!

Baseball players. For whatever reason, perhaps this is due to the tight uniforms, they all have huge asses. Being an ass person myself, I can’t complain too much, but the thing is, I have the typical incurved white-girl butt. So standing next to a gigantic ass would be really intimidating. The only exception to this argument is Randy Johnson of the New York Yankees. But he’s tall so he automatically falls into the tall freak category.

American football players fall into the same category as hockey players. They are all huge. And some are even tall. And hockey players are always missing teeth or have messed up looking noses.

Cyclists - they shave their legs. Swimmers take it further, they shave every body part that has exposed hair. And I like hair. Beards especially.

Speed skaters? Have you seen their enormous thighs? Figure skaters? Well, they wouldn’t like me anyways.

I can go on and on and on. But you see my point. Football players are in shape but none of their muscles are freaky looking. Some are tall but they don’t have to be freaky tall. They don’t have missing teeth or busted noses. And if you’re David Beckham, well then you’re extra super dreamy to millions of girls.