Is that little dot on my sheets moving?

Due to a variety of rather pleasant circumstances, for the first time in several years, I read the Sunday’s Times while sipping (or trying to sip) coffee while lying in bed. To my horror, one of the front page stories, which then continued onto several other pages deeper into the A section, I read a story on bedbugs, which, apparently, are taking over New York. Now, we all know that the front page stories are fluff stories accompanied by a dramatic picture of a malnourished child or a dying “peace keeper” in the Middle East - sort of like fluff stories you get on the Fox 5 Channel. But the reason why I was so horrified is that I’ve always had a fear of bedbugs and they made it to the front page of the New York Times!

It all started when a few years back my friend announced that her roommate had bedbugs. After telling me about her roommate’s repeated attempts to get rid of them, I was traumatized (I am sure) for life. That evening I ran home, tore off my sheets and, while shaking in fear of what I may find, I inspected every crevice of my mattress. Fortunately, there weren’t any visible creepy crawlers. Nevertheless, that night was followed by my tossing and turning and scratching while imagining tiny little buggers crawling all around my bed. Later on, say a year or so, my roommate started to complain about bites on her arms and chest which, to my paranoid and untrained eye, looked pretty much like bedbug bites. Then again, it was the year when construction started in our backyard and there were puddles of rain everywhere which would have easily lead to an infestation of mosquitoes. Yes, swarms of mosquitoes in Brooklyn. Haven’t you heard of the West Nile virus on the Fox 5 Channel?

The other thing is that in my previous life, I traveled in the US and to several countries and I managed to stay in a variety of fancy and not-so-fancy hotels. According to the bedbug article, that’s where a lot of people have gotten their bedbugs. So, according to it, I’ve managed to place myself in several high-risk situations – my friend’s bedbug infested apartment and somewhat seedy hotels. Not that the hotel in Mongolia was seedy, but judging by the amount of black hair left by the previous occupant of my bed, I doubt the sheets were changed carefully or regularly (hmm, wait, should I have someone inspect my head for lice?).

Despite some comforting words and assurances that this is probably a ploy set up by some bedbug fumigation company which will soon reveal a brand new bedbug killing machine, I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ll probably toss and turn all night tonight while scratching every part of my body. I should just stop reading the Times; really, it’s day old news anyways.