Loins on fire

I would imagine an average reading is thinking that I’ve been spending a lot of time writing about the New York City subway lines. The problem is that I take the subway almost every day of the week (that is if the L is working on the weekends, but that’s a whole new post) so I can’t help but spend a lot of time thinking about it. Plus, since I’ve fallen into this slump of not doing any school-related work any more, there is not much to do in the subway but stand/sit, listen to my iPod and ponder.

Anyways, the guest of honor for today’s post is an average man who takes the subway in New York City. It’s your typical, average, non-descript man who sits on a really crowded subway seat, smushed between other riders, perhaps wishing he was still in bed or somewhere completely different. So no big deal, right? Well, the thing is that about 90% of the time, this typical man would sit with his legs spread so far apart that he takes up about 2 seats therefore causing further smushing of seated passengers around him.

When I see such a man, the only thing that crosses my mind is that he must have enormously gigantic genitalia. I mean, if you can’t keep your legs closer together, there must something special going on in your pants. Alternatively, this man is on fire and the spreading of his thighs will cool his loins.

Otherwise, I just don’t have any other rational explanation for lack of any awareness of his inconsiderate actions that lead to discomfort (and, on my part, bewildered wonder) of anyone around him.