One of the side-effects of watching too much TV is that I am getting sucked into the world of celebrities. Obviously, since they are all so fabulous, I should make them all my demigods and tailor my life to reflect theirs.
According to the current celebrity trends and keeping in mind the statement above, there are two things that I could do to be stylish – get pregnant or get a divorce. Think about it, who isn’t getting a divorce or has gotten pregnant??? If I had really nothing to do, I would list a number of celebrities who fit into these categories but since I have to write two papers for school, I’ll leave it up to you to do all the research.
Optimally, I really should do both – get pregnant and get a divorce. But since there is no one to get a divorce from, my only option is to get pregnant. Now, since I have about a billion other things to do than get pregnant, I’ve thought of a grand solution. For a more natural look, I could drink a lot of beer but it’s not the best solution since it’s hard (especially in this old age when my metabolism rate is visibly slowing down) to get rid of a beer belly. Alternatively, I could just get myself a detachable belly, the kind that was issued to the Human Sexuality class in my highschool. The purpose of it was to learn what it is like to be pregnant and as much I remember, everyone complained that it was really heavy. Mine detachable belly would be squishy and light, no suffering here, only style. Of course, first I would have to take proper measurements and make sure that it’s a cute belly – the kind that would make me look pregnant rather than just fat. At the same time, it shouldn’t be too big otherwise I would look really lopsided; after all, I am kind of frail and small. I would guess somewhere around 6-7 months would look pretty damn good. Since this pregnancy thing is quite a trend, I could also market the detachable belly. There are plenty of hipsters in
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