Lucky number seven

You know you live in Greenpoint when:

1) your landlord is always drunk;
2) your neighbor upstairs has Riverdance parties in clogs at 1am and on occasion decides to throw bowling balls onto his floor;
3) your apartment is infested with mice.

Actually that’s my apartment. I don’t blame you if you cancel your plans to visit.

Last week, after deciding that I didn’t want to deal with my drunken landlord anymore, I braved on my own and reset two of the four traps. Talk about self-sufficiency! (Soon I’ll start my own nuclear power-plant* in my apartment so that I can supply my apartment with my own source of energy!) The reason why I reset only two is because they seem to be really effective and so far, killed four mice. They are not that fancy, made out of plastic but they are easy to set up and they kill, kill, kill!

Around 2am, after lying in my bed and trying to block out bowling balls being dropped onto the floor upstairs, I heard a trap snap. Yes!

Of course, the following morning, when I peeked behind the stove, the trap was nowhere to be seen. Which meant that I had to get my drunked landlord to come and move the stove and fish out the dead mouse and its trap. That’s mouse #5. Around 5pm today, as I was catching some zzz’s on the couch (I got out of work early), one of the traps snapped. Again. That’s mouse #6. When my landlord came to remove it (Why do something when someone else can do it for you?), he said he saw another one scurry away. So now I am waiting for mouse #7.

If any PETA people out there are getting upset about my mice hunting, I welcome them all to come to my apartment to catch the mice in a humane manner. I’ll even feed you all organic rice and beans or whatever is that you eat.

*To all those who are reading blogs to spy on behalf of the G0V – this is a joke. It would be virtually impossible for me to set up a nuclear power-plant in my apartment. If I did, I would be a genius mainly because my apartment is the size of a shoebox. And, more importantly, I really do not know anything about nuclear physics. This statement has been verified by my lawyer, Bob Lahblah, JD, PhD, PC, Mac OS X.